Great Finds and Something Scary I Never Wanted to Find

Have you ever just felt overwhelmed by the fact that God loves you? Like that unexpected blessing was just a hug from God?   That's how I felt at the beginning of this week.  

Loved.

Hugged.  

It seemed God was showing me again how precious and special I am as His daughter.  Instead of just knowing I'm loved, I felt loved.  

God knew I needed that, but not until Tuesday night did I realize how very much I needed it.

{Molly from Pennies 'n Grace, yours truly, and Christina from The Frugal Homemaker}

On Tuesday afternoon I had the priviliege of spending some time with these ladies! (You can go here to Christina's blog to read more about it!) We are all old friends, but I hadn't seen Christina since we both graduated from college 10 years ago. Yep, that officially makes me OLD.  She was in town so we got together and went thrifting. First we went to Goodwill, and then the Habitat for Humanity Restore.  There I found this vintage suitcase for $2.50 so that was exciting!
  

We only had a few minutes left before we had to go our separate ways, but we decided to hit a little antique shop. Ya'll know me and my love for vintage things, and I had been hunting for a typewriter for a while.  All day I had been praying that I would find one.  Well, in one of the first booths I spotted a typewriter!!  But it was $35. There were a few more in the same booth...all out of my price range.  

I thought, "Okay...well, Lord, I guess none of these are for me.  But I'd still really like one!"  

Further on in the store I stumbled upon this typewriter.  For $12.  And the booth had a sign for 40% off.  No way?!?!  I was thrilled!  

Again inside I was talking to God and saying, "Wow, Lord!  You do care about these little irrelevant things in our lives, don't you?  Thank you!"

Then after dinner on Tuesday night we headed out to Lowe's so my free paint sample coupon wouldn't expire.  When we got there they were all out of paint samples to mix up!  I was SO bummed.  But then the paint guy said, "I'll just mix you up a quart and you can have it for the same price."  Seriously, I needed somebody to pinch me.  A typewriter and free paint all in one day?  Wow.  

It just felt like too much. I told my kids when we got home how Jesus must love me so much to give me things like a typewriter and free paint.  I've learned that He is a really sweet Father like that.  =) 

Well, on Tuesday night my hubby was reading in bed and I'm jabbering on and on about thrifting with my friends and what I wanted to makeover with my free paint, and in my hurry to throw my jammies on, my hand hit my chest in a weird way.  

I paused.  What was that?

My hand probed my right side....wait....what? Just to be sure I wasn't imagining it, I felt my left side too see if it was the same.  Nothing. 

I wasn't imagining things.  Something was there.  A big lump that I had never felt before.  

I told my hubby and I cried.  A lot. Steven prayed with me and I cried some more.  

Early Wednesday morning I talked to my mom.  She's been a nurse for forever and she's always cool, calm and collected when it comes to medical stuff.  She's the tough as nails, "no band-aid for you unless you're bleeding to death" type. Ok, so not that bad, but close. ;)  So when she told me to call the doctor as soon as they opened in the morning, I got scared.  And of course cried again. She said that they would get me in ASAP.  

She was right, my appointment was for 9:30 Thursday morning.

At first I think my doctor thought I was overreacting.  I'm young and healthy, there are few cases of breast cancer in my family, so my risk is low.  She was thinking it was just a horomonal thing.  

But then she started the exam and said, "Oh my...wow, there it is!"  

I was relieved to know I wasn't imagining things, but at the same time, her findings were not very encouraging.  The size, shape, etc. of the mass that was found is definitely irregular.  

Am I panic stricken?  No.  Not at all.  I have learned that there is no sense in losing it over the "if's."  I have no idea where God is going with all this, but I know that whatever it is, it's His best.  

On Thursday night my husband had to work late because he went to the doctor with me, and I was playing a CD that had " 'Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus" on it.  The phrase, "Oh for grace to trust Him more" hit me in a whole new way.  

That's what I need right now.  Grace to trust Him more.  

This may sound random, but stick with me....on Tuesday morning I entered a giveaway for two beautiful prints from Katygirl designs.  One of the prints said, "As for God, His way is perfect."  On Wednesday night I was notified that I had won. I was so surprised!  

And then I knew.  It was that God hug again.  He knew I needed to feel His love and be encouraged more than ever. I'm looking forward to hanging that print in my home and being reminded of it's significance.

I look at the typwriter on the dresser in the living room and it makes me smile.  It's like God is reminding me, "Hey Laine....I've got this. Typewriters or strange lumps, it's all the same.  I'm in control of it all.  And don't forget, I love you."

So in 9 days I will be seeing another doctor, a surgical oncologist at a cancer center for further testing.  The waiting part always seems so hard. 

These verses have been on repeat in my mind.  God's word is our source of strength and gives us "grace to trust Him more."

Job 23:10  But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.  

Psalm 18:30  As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in him.  

Psalm 46:1  God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

This was such a long post and if you made it this far, I thank you for reading!  And if you would pray for me I would appreciate it.  I'm not sure where this path is leading our family, but I'm more confident than ever that whatever He has is best, all for His glory and my good.

 Hope you have a wonderful weekend, friends!