Who You Are and Who You Were Meant to Be

One of my “jobs” I guess you could say, as a pastor’s wife is counseling. Sometimes it’s spur of the moment when someone comes to me and needs help, and other times it’s when there is an issue that needs to be lovingly addressed. Can I tell you that I greatly dislike that part of being a pastor’s wife? I’m just being honest here. It’s hard. I don’t enjoy confrontation. At all. Or making phone calls, but that’s another subject entirely. =D

But obedience to God’s Word is necessary for everyone, whether it’s the confronter or the confronted. Much grace is needed for both parts. And neither is fun. 

Today though I’m going to share with you one of the most common phrases that I hear in counseling. You may have said it yourself at some point. 

Sadly, so many Christian women have swallowed a lie. A lie, twisted and ugly, that paints itself as freedom and personal expression, yet keeps you enslaved. Something sold as identity when instead it’s meant to rob you of who you really are in Christ.

It’s this: “That’s just the way I am.” Or “It’s just who I am.” 

It sounds so harmless.

But it’s not. It’s dangerous. 

It’s one of the most, if not the most common comeback when one is lovingly shown a problem in their life. Whether it’s gossip, disrespect for authority, a bad attitude, ingratitude, worry, or even wrong music or dress choices. This phrase would rank #1 on the charts.

Why is this a problem?

Because the way I am, and the way you are, sent Jesus to the cross. Romans 5:8, “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

We are sinners and way you are is not the way He wants you to be.

Did God make us all unique and different? Absolutely. You are his creation, as am I. Do we all have differing personalities, strengths and weaknesses? Yep. What a boring world it would be if we were all the same!

But I’m not talking about personality. I’m talking about sin. And using “who I am” to excuse sinful actions is not okay.

The “who I am” before Christ should be a whole lot different than who I am after Christ. If you are a child of God, “who you are” should be constantly changing.

Many Christian women become so wrapped up in this idea that they can’t even see what’s happening to them. They scream out, “You don’t love me for who I am!” at their husbands and anyone else who would attempt to help them.

But Christ did.
Again, Romans 5:8, “But God commendeth (freely gave) his love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” 

He is the only one to truly love you for who you are. He created you, loved you and died for you.

But Christ’s mission wasn’t to just love you for who you are, but to save you from who you are. He came to free you from the bondage of “who you are” and make you more like Him.

Colossians 3:10, “ And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him:”

2 Corinthians 5:17, “ Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”

Ephesians 4:24 “And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.”

If you are a child of God, to act like the child of the devil, excusing it as “who I am”, is akin to identity theft. Living a sinful life is not who you should be anymore.

God has something much better for you….and it’s Him. The only “I am” that we should be content to be like is the “I AM.” 

Let Him change you
 Allow Christ to do that painful work of sanctifying you and peeling back all those dead layers of sinful flesh and revealing who you were truly meant to be. 

I promise you, it will be far better than who you are right now!


  1. Been hearing this a lot lately, along with "but it feels good" and "but this is what I want" and "but this is what makes me happy." Heartbreaking scenarios for sure. I'm thankful for how God works in my own heart through counseling situations.

  2. Beautiful word...amen! Just talked about this subject with husband this past weekend. Sometimes we lose our friends or have broken relationship with family just because we confront what is wrong in their life through God eyes (our personal experience). Again as a follower of Christ we need to do what is right not what is easy !

  3. Totally true. I've heard that soo often.
    One of the hardest seems to be telling someone that they need to change attitudes... bad attitudes don't like to be told! I've even had people say that "attitudes don't count"!

  4. Excellent, thought-provoking post and so true! May we all strive to become more like Christ and die to "who we are" daily!

  5. But where sin abounded, grace did much more abound Rom 5:20 I will take HIS grace over my sin any day. Great Post!!

  6. The words you wrote are from the Lord. They are exactly what I needed to hear today. Thanking you and Him.


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